After we survived the doctor's visit, we were introduced to our IVF coordinator. She is a trained nurse and so much more. She is the liason responsible for the medical, legal and financial information that will rock your world for the next few months.
Don't make the mistake of talking money with your doctor. Ours gave us a number thousands 'less' than we were anticipating. So when our coordinator showed us the contracts with the real numbers, we were concerned. She apologized and said, "He's a brilliant doctor, he truly cares, but he should know better than to discuss money." I'm glad he's not our accountant, but his statistics for births are one of the best in town. He's lucky he has her. She put us at ease. She felt real to us.
She is the Wizard behind the OZ. The one behind the curtain, pulling the strings and making sure we all stay on task. Our Dr. OZ (not his name -- no worries Oprah) is a nice man, but this is not like going to your warm and fuzzy gynecologist. He is a scientist and I hope he's brilliant like Einstein. I'm praying this science experiment works. There are so many emotions riding on this, I find comfort in believing in the procedure.
Sometimes I feel like just another statistic hoping to beat the odds. We've seen our doctor only once for our initial meeting. I'm not sure if this is normal, but we've mostly dealt with the coordinator. Emails and phone calls are returned in a timely manner, so I don't really have any complaints so far.
I recently learned that Michael Jackson's Paris and Prince were conceived via IUI (turkey-baster) at our clinic. I could have lived without that creepy knowledge (I read it on some trashy post-eulogy MJ story) , but I still believe we're in the right place.
I met with one other IVF doctor and he was a pompous ass. His waiting room blasted Jerry Springer on TV and I knew I was in trouble. I left his office in tears. Next time around, I did my homework. We picked the clinic with the best reputation . We were referred by my gyno, my fertility acupuncturist and a friend. We liked the doctor. We liked the nurses. We liked the coordinator.
The coordinator is the keeper of the 'all mighty' calender of meds, shots and eventual retrieval. Get to know this lady or gent. Yours will be your lifeline through all of this. Our coordinator is kind and patient. She tried to warn us about the range of emotions that we might feel in choosing a donor. She gently said, "Choose carefully, but don't get too attached to any one donor."
It's sound advise. It was easy to hear. I wish it had been easier to follow.